Selamat Pagi Everyone!

Alternative Title - …urm, good morning everyone!

I have been horribly lax in updates since I arrived in this beautiful sweaty country, and I apologise. However, all things considered ....

My A) My life here is not terribly exciting. I go to school, I come home, I eat rice or noodles. I don’t think daily updates are needed!

AND

B) B)If I do write something, I feel the need to pressure myself into writing something witty … which isn’t going to happen at the moment. My level of wit is at an all time low, and considering I never started off very witty, the current status is dismal indeed. Fainting from the heat and food poisoning I’m sure a funny blog make, but only when they stop happening.

In the meantime, here are some random rambling on my daily life in Bandar Sunway. Like I said – this is boring stuff folks. And long. Veeerrrrrryyyy long. I mean seriously, scroll down and check that shit out before you commit yourself to it. The aim kind of being to bore you all to death, so I never have to pretend to be witty again! I could advise you to just skim read the highlights, but that would imply that there were actually highlights.

HAPPY READING!

Contrary to rumours circulating, I am currently in Malaysia, and have been for about three weeks. Various people seem a bit unsure as to my whereabouts, and whilst I’m sure Malaysia’s not quite as exciting as living in Singapore (Cammo), or clearing land mines in Cambodia (Mike & Joe), it’s all right all the same. I'm living in this bizarre town called Bandar Sunway that seems to be owned by this corporation called “Sunway”. It’s a strange kind of place to live in, and consists of:

Two universities (one called Sunway College), student accommodation (I live in Sunway Condo), a water theme park (Sunway Lagoon), hotels (Sunway Pyramid Tower Hotel), a mosque, slummy crap housing and condo housing, car-makeover shops and the worlds most over the top shopping centre (Sunway Pyramid).

Picking up on a theme here?

When I arrived here I called everything Sunway, which confused taxi drivers to no end. “Take me to the Sunway” is often followed my strange confused silences, as the driver calculates just how stupid I am, and how much I can be overcharged.

Hundreds of people work in the streets every day in orange Sunway uniforms picking up rubbish, painting road lines and sweeping the roads and footpaths ( all by hand), pulling weeds or sitting in the shade. My housemate said they get paid approx 2RM an hour, which is pretty miserable ($1AU = 3RM). The going rate for working in a fast food place like McDonalds is 4RM, and a nicer clothes shop 8-10RM. In Sunway, “fun” is defined by either eating or shopping. Yeah, it’s party town day and night here ….

My accommodation is basic but okay. I share a room with the other Aussie girl here Sheree who is pretty sweet as far as roomies go. She doesn’t have crap taste in music, doesn’t eat stinky food and doesn’t whinge non stop about stupid shit, or in fact at all, which is pretty much like hitting the jackpot in Malaysian condo sharing. Her one vice is whistling or singing NON STOP, but I’m sure the stuff I have been slipping in her drinks will take affect soon and fix that little problem. (Hi Sheree, if your reading this I love you and I’m clearly JOKING …ha…ha..ha….)

I also live with Danielle, a 16 year old English/Malaysian, who is lovely, but 16 and obsessed with stupid English footballers like the hideous Beckham. And Evelyn, a rocking little Indian-Malay, about whom I can find nothing horrible to say, so instead I’ll just call her a little village girl to offend her. Two new Indian girls, one of their mothers and a maid (?) arrived the other day and proceeded to drive us all nuts by rearranging all our stuff and scrubbing the entire house like we are dirty heathens unfit for their daughters company. Parenting here is certainly different than it is at home.

The rules of the condo are over the top and starting to get a bit annoying but we try to sneak around them. We live in the girls condo, and a security guard is stationed at the bottom of the lifts at all times. If a boy is seen in a lift apparently they bring it back to the ground floor and interrogate him! No cooking, drinking, fraternizing with boys, using the pool before 9am between 12-4pm or after 9pm, 12pm curfew, and constant ID checks are the major annoyances. It is a well known fact that Mr Tan the head honcho is open to bribery so that’s always a fallback if we get in trouble. I managed to bang out sneaky pasta the other day and we have snuck in and hid some vodka so we can have a quiet beverage on the sly. The boys also snuck some turtles up to their room and have turtle races. Cleaners come everyday to “empty the bins” which is code for “to perve on what your doing and report back to Mr Tan,” so you have to be on constant lookout!

We tried to organize to use the BBQ downstairs for Sheree’s birthday and it would have required a usage fee, deposit, passport handed in, guest list handed in a week before the date with everyone’s passport numbers, exact time frame, no loud music, no alcohol (of course!), and a security guard pretty much standing watch. A bit of overkill to say the least.

The segregation of males and females is probably the most annoying. The girls here are all really nice but generally speaking not up for a party. Most are Muslim or have grown up in a Muslim country, which doesn't really create a drinking and partying culture. However the boys I hang out with here are usually up for something exciting or going out somewhere. It seems so stupid that I can't have any of them over for coffee but when I walk down the street random men can make cat-calls and blatantly stare me up and down, and no body bats an eyelid. The system here seems a little out of whack to me, but then again its all part of living in a different culture. Even one with piggy men around! I have been told that even if I was wearing a freakin burqua I would still be stared at, just because I'm white, but the attitudes of a certain type of men here towards women is still probably the hardest thing to deal with culturally.

The Monash here is an attempted replica of the Monashs’ in Melbourne, and sometimes I forget I am overseas and just think I am sitting in the library at home. The main difference is the level of intense security as well as classes being held in Manglish, which is a kind of regional English I suppose. In Asian cultures it is apparently considered very rude to ask questions of your teachers, as it implies that they are not doing a good enough job. The public education system here gives no voice to students, and the teachers can say the most outlandish stuff and no one will say a word. I made an enemy or two in the first week without even realizing it, just by asking questions in class. I spoke to one of my cool teachers about it and he said that they shouldn’t be doing that at Monash so just to continue as I am. I will try to tone it down a little though.

People here find the concept of working to support yourself at university pretty strange and overwhelming. My cool teacher asked who worked over summer, and out of a class of 30 I was the only one who did. One other girl did work experience. It is very common for people to leave university at 22-23 having never worked any job at all. My rocking friend Jaiqi is Singaporean, and having served the compulsory three years national service, he is starting first year accounting at the age of 22. He will graduate at the age of 25 probably having never worked a ‘normal’ job, but the pressure on Asian kids to do well from their parents seems more intense than working part-time. Everyone talks heaps about how hard they have to study to make sure they get good marks, and to meet their parent’s expectations. It’s only now that I’m overseas that I realize why everyone thinks Australians are so laid-back. We never talk about study amongst ourselves and get bored shiteless when others start talking bout it. If you have to study, bugger off and do it – we don’t want to hear about it!

I am attempting to learn a bit of Bahasa Malayu, and am getting dodgy lessons from Ev my housemate and an Aussie called Sam who is fluent in Bahasa Indonesian (pretty much the same thing). The most useful phrase in my repertoire is ‘Tidak pedas’ (‘not spicy’), but what the Malaysians believe is spicy and what I believe is spicy are usually two different things! My favourite security guard Mohammed is also trying to teach me, whilst another one called Chawee is attempting to teach me Tamil. I may be getting a little bit confused…

I went to the Batu caves on the weekend which was awesome. A trip to the Batu Caves is a must on any travelers list of ‘must do’ in KL. Partly because there is not much to do, and partly cause it’s a pretty cool place. The Batu (which means stone or rock for those playing at home) Caves are a Hindu shrine and seem to play a major part in the local Hindu population’s religion. It has a massive 140ft blinging gold statue out the front, and Hindu gods are way more exciting that traditional ones. My favourite is the cow with human boobs and a human head, bird wings and a peacock tail. I don’t know who came up with their gods but they look sweet as. The monkeys there were a bit vicious too which was funny.

We are going to a place called the Genting Highlands this weekend. It has the world’s biggest hotel (so they claim!), theme parks and Malaysia’s only casinos. The best thing about it though is the fact that it is usually bout 10 degrees cooler than everywhere else, which will be refreshing! Election voting is being held on Saturday and I have been told by an unreliable source it’s lucky that we are getting out of town, as riots are commonplace in this area and the condo usually goes into lockdown mode. Genting is a tourist trap so I doubt it will be affected. Apparently whoever gets in power usually declares Monday a public holiday so that should be cool too.

Well, I hope I’ve bored you all suitably. My love goes out to all, or at least most of all. Take care everybody, and don’t forget to update me on the boring shiznit that you’ve been up to.

X.O.X.O Gossip Girl

(haha – sorry, lame in-house joke. I’ve got a sick addiction to that horrible show, that disgusts my housemates)