Pathetically Apathetic

Alternative Title - Wave your arms in the air, like you just don't care (but secretly, you care a lot - like waaaayyy too much)

It's always been known that I am generally a loud-mouth on, say, any issue, ever.

'What's that, you guys are talking about the plight of Indigenous Australian's in remote outback communities? Isn't it clear that the answer to this extremely complex issue is to simply ...'

'Pardon me? Paris Hilton photographed reading the bible post-jail? Well, according to my Bible classes as a child, it doesn't say 'Thou Shall be a Skank' anywhere in Genesis....'

'Tasmanian truffles? Don't be absurd! Everybody knows the finest truffles only come from the Langhe region of Italy!...'

Some naive people (okay, maybe one naive person) once mistook the fact that I have opinions on everything in the known universe as knowledge, but most people rightly recognise that I'm just a twat that likes to talk the shit, most of which makes no sense whatsoever. Which makes it really hard to find people who want to chat the politics with me. Partly because I'm a shit talker, but also because apparently, its not cool to talk politics. Or think about politics. Or read the newspaper. Or both of the newspapers. Or watch the 7.30 Report with Kerry O'Brien. Or have fantasies about getting freaky in the House of Representatives. SOME DAYS I DO ALL OF THESE THINGS! It is with this knowledge that I discovered in the lead up to this years election that I am a political nerd.

I love nothing better that pouring over the various political parties policies, trying to balance my vote between anything I may possibly gain, and anything that may be gained for general humanity or the environment.

Election day excites me. I don't find it inconvenient at all; in fact, it's one of the highlights of my social calender. It's the one time of the year, bar 6PM on Australia Day after one too many Green Apple UDL's, that I feel a sense of Aussie Pride. I get excited walking through the gates of the local primary school, knowing that I'm gonna 'make my vote count.' I love sneering at the Liberal and Family First spruikers that try to hand me their 'How to Vote' cards. I know how to vote you mo-fo's, and it certainly ain't by ticking either of your boxes!

I have nightmares that certain types of people in our society are not only encouraged to vote, but forced to ...

However even the likes of people like this seem to realised that, like a famous pollie once said, 'It's Time.' Not suppertime. Or timewarp. Or even Hammertime. 'It's Time' to get rid of fecking Howard. HOORAY!!!! Now, lets all wait with baited breath for Rudd to cock it up!